Welcome to EmilyAG.

In case you where wondering.

From getting annoyed when I go to high in my numbers and annoyed when I go to low I feel like I’m just always bothered by myself.

I want eat a piece of candy. 1 gummy bear. 1 chocolate sugar shell egg at Easter.

But only if my numbers are right.

Only if I take insulin.

If I’m even slightly over 150 I have to give myself another shot. Even if that means I’m at 164 and craving a small bowl of cereal for breakfast.

Take the shot? Skip the meal? I get stuck… and it sucks.

Be hungry and wait till the next meal and check again? Or just take the shot?

I watched my weight move up again. Was 25lbs down and now I’m back to 132lbs on a good day.

I’m stuck. And it sucks.

When they call it “The Palteau” they mean it. I want to loose more weight but does that make my diabetes more manageable? Or does it just make me more nervous about gaining back the weight and becoming unhealthy in a different way?

Starving myself was my way of coping for awhile in my life. The only thing I could control, the only thing I could make sure someone else couldn’t take away from me. So now with “keeping a good diet” makes me feel like I could slip back into that mentality.

My A1C was up this last appointment and I know, I know, I had an infection and had surgery in November and wasn’t able to move for a month… Still, I was annoyed enough that back to workouts I go. Back to going more carb free meals because I do admit I was slacking after the surgery, during the. holidays, my birthday, family visits… I let some of that fall to waist side.

So I gotta go. I gotta go find some work to do in the yard before the heat kicks in officially.

EAG