Welcome to EmilyAG.

Someone asked me what “job I did for a living” and my answer was “Oh, I don’t work, I’m just a housewife.”

And then 2 days later during a weird moment working in the yard I remembered that comment and went into an over thinking spiral that made me chop out 5 bushes and totally forget that I was in a halter dress and slippers.

Shaking in anger, at myself, I got more and more angry that I limited myself to the word “just” because there is no way I would call myself just anything.

I’m not just a wife.

I’m not just a gardener.

I’m not just a blogger.

I’m not just a “pet mom”.

I’m not just a pain in the ass, out spoken, know it all, Capricorn, with daddy issues, or a quilter who loves to bake.

I AM however all of those things.

I AM a lot, I feel, to deal with and handle on a day to day basis.

I make jokes that make me not have to go that deep. Jokes so I don’t have to tell people the reason I left the “work force” to begin with. Sometimes I even make strange comments blaming my husband that he needs me to take care of him. “If I wasn’t here all day he wouldn’t know how to take care of himself,” and while somedays that feels totally true, I’m very aware that he can make a bowl of cereal or order food off DoorDash and hire a maid service like he used to before me.

So I hurt my own feelings. I told a lie. I made light of myself because I didn’t want to tell someone how special I was. How much I am.

And to be honest, I’m not really sure how to fix it. A long time ago I told myself that I would never call myself just a housewife, or a housewife in general. I always said homemaker, micro homesteader, and on really self positive days I would even say Household Administrator, which is actually what I had written on my Linkden profile at one point. But since the move I have kind of lost myself.

With all of the changes and adjustments to my life and health these past 2 years I feel I have to make another change and that’s to find myself again. Find who I am supposed to be at this time in my life. What I am supposed to start taking seriously and what I’m supposed to let go and believe me, there’s a lot I need to be letting go…

Alright. Time to wash my hands and get back to be the all that I am… and it’s alllot.

-EAG