Welcome to EmilyAG.

But Type 1 Diabetes is like not a joke.

And everything I was raised with around diabetes that shit was wild and dumb.

My father was diagnosed at like 30 something type 2 and to be fair to that doctors still didn’t really “believe in” late onset diabetes. (Now called type 1.5 or something?) But because he was diagnosed t2d instead of what he was as a t1d then a lot of confusion came in our lives and understanding around it all.

Like he ate a lot of fruit and grains trying to “eat healthier”

He rarely checked his glucose before eating because he “was in his weight limit”

The 90’s were wild ya’ll. Glucose monitors where messy. He hated needles. Insulin always had to be refrigerated and he thought bringing a cooler around with him was “annoying” or “ugly”.

Everyone roll your eyes at the narcissist..

Hell in that thought he used to “go low” on purpose to get me to “save his life” as manipulation. The amount of times I’ve thought about that as an adult wondering what would’ve happened if I said no.. Walked away. Would he have just gotten up off the bed and grabbed the glucose tablets himself?

I grew up hating diabetes…

I thought all it meant was my mom would tell my dad he couldn’t have any candy and my dad would come and take all of mine and tell me I had to lie to my mom about it.

I thought all it meant was my mom telling every server in the restaurant that “he has diabetes do you have splenda? Or sugar free syrup?” and making us all feel uncomfortable.

I thought all it meant was that when he was wanting ME to stop being upset with him he’d use it to make me talk to him because he was “sick”.

I thought all it meant was that my dad got to do whatever he wanted and say it was because of diabetes. (Honestly that one I can get behind. LOL)

So then when I “inherited” it I thought my life was over and yes, in reality it still feels that way a bit but I do know that it isn’t over. I just wake up everyday wondering what in the actual F I’ll be finding out today.

Like, will my endocrinologist answer my email? Will my insurance still cover my medications? Do I need to do another unit of insulin for my Long Acting? Am I running low on needles? What is my resting glucose? (Not good btw) Can I take a nap or am I going to spike? Am I going high because of something I ate or is it the panic attack that I’m having?

It’s a lot for me. And like my father I also hate needles.

Alright. Rant ending… Because something has gotta change and I just read a study about an insulin inhaler and it weirdly made me super angry. I don’t have any idea why either so don’t ask.

Okay.

Goodbye.

-EAG